Mommy

I guess you can say that I have yet to overcome the fact that I am about to be a mommy alhamdulillah! Sometimes I become scared, terrified and feel a bit overwhelmed while there are also those special moments where I just sit and thank Allah for bringing a little bundle of joy into my life. I never knew I could open my heart up to love anyone the way that I love my son. I have not even met him yet but I love him more then life itself and I know for a fact that I will do anything to make sure he has a great life and he is very happy! My heart is forever his and I don't want that any other way. Didn't plan on becoming a mommy so young and so soon but it's almost here and I can not wait for him to arrive. Always thinking who will he look like, what will he act like, will he cry a lot, will I get nervous about raising him, will he be happy that I'm doing my best to provide for him given the hand that we have temporarily been dealt. I think of so many things and most times I never come up with an answer which at times conquers my brain while a few times I don't want to have an answer because with due time I will be finding out. Even though he's so close it still feels like he's so far away from me and I just want him near. Honestly when I first thought of being a mom I was happy and there was nothing that could change that. Then I truly found out that I was carrying another human being inside my body I got scared and wished I could just run away for a while I just kind of told myself that I was not capable of being a mom; I don't have the patience you need in order to raise a baby, I don't have a job, but most importantly I didn't have daddy at the time when I truly needed him. Then as more and more time elapsed and the day for him to arrive grew closer I had a very loving, warm, encouraging conversation with myself and with daddy and we told each other that we have to make it through this and no matter what happens we'll always know that we are doing our best and being the best parents that we could possibly be. I think it was at this moment that I told myself it's now or never and since it was now I just have to be strong and do the best I can and whatever I am not capable of doing at that particular moment I knew that daddy would be able to do it. Karl M. Jarmon II mommy can't wait for you to arrive I'll do the best I can to make sure that you have a wonderful life!