Emptiness!

Maybe I'm not used to this feeling of such emptiness and such loneliness! Maybe it's just me that feel the way that I do. Is it weird that each time I walk into the room that we once shared together I feel empty, alone, miserable and unhappy? Or better yet it could be weird that when I'm in the kitchen my heart sinks because that was our sanctuary! I walk down the steps and a tear roll down my face because I know that was the very spot we took our first romantic drink at. I come across the dining room and I look at the middle chair and feel unhappy simply due to the fact of the memory it brings back. Walking past my sister's room remembering that we used to hurry and try to get there to feel the air conditioner when the summer heat has gotten the best of the both of us. I come to my grandfather's room and I no longer feel like I can be in this home, like I want to give up. Then I end up back in our room reading the things you write me and I remember that Allah will make everything better in the end and I somehow feel at ease. Bad thoughts sometime are the only thoughts I have to keep progressing. Inshallah you will be back home very soon and the hardships that we have been facing will be a life lesson that helped us grow as Abdullah and as Dominique but that also helped us grow as ONE!

Each night before I close me eyes I think of you and I pray that this all will be over with and we can go back to doing the things we love to do together. I feel like I'm in desperate need for a touch of your hand, a kiss from your lips, a soothing word from your mouth, a warm embrace from your arms, a loving look from your eyes and a well known and well held spot in your soft, gentle, loving, caring heart. Right now all I have are memories and the things that we get to say and do to one another when we see each other once or maybe twice a week not that I'm dissatisfied but I just truly would like things to go back to the way that they were. When you would ring the bell at 7 in the morning or sometimes 12 at night. I miss when we would sit up and talk all day and get to know one another. I miss how we would share secrets with one another; most things that we have never told anyone else in the whole world. I miss the times when we would get mad at one another over nothing and be back to being best friends within the next five minutes. I miss when we would fall asleep laying in one another's arms. I miss when we made our own life lessons. I just basically miss us and what we were but nothing compares to just how much I miss you!

My love for you will never die indeed my love for you will forever remain true. My heart you conquered the minute I looked deep into your eyes. My love you taken away from me with just that very first smile. I'm forever yours here on earth and in the hereafter. Forever I will always remain true to you and your needs just as though they were my own or as if they were our child's need. I love you deeply babe and that will never change; drift away; or decrease.